Misc. Ramblings Grouped Together

2 Sep

March 7, 2010: Did you know there’s a National High Five Day?


March 7, 2010: Who has been tampering with the Russell Stover Coconut Nests?! No more jelly beans? Umm, why? Why would you make a nest that has nothing in it?

March 5, 2010: I do it every time nearly. I wait until my hunger is so great that I must get fast food NOW. When I am working on a project, like I am as of late with my book, I can work for 12 to 14 hours without a break. However, today I did attempt to make a frozen pizza. Unfortunately, I was emailing Marco Pirroni and on the phone with a friend, so I forgot about the friggin’ pizza being in the oven – until all the smoke detectors in the house started going off. My $10 pizza was completely black and utterly stinky. So, I just booked it to Taco Bell. It’s never less than a guaranteed huge mess to eat tacos in the car, yet I still try to prove that wrong. I’ve got crap all over my chin, coat, seat belt, seat, carpeting… Now I am off to dye my hair – let’s hope I get that right.

Update: And no, Marco did not e-mail me a ghost story in return. Hey, it never hurts to try.

February 25, 2010: With fancy products like ‘Vibrating Mascara‘ and ‘Oscillating Mascara‘, it seems to me they could do a little something to make a Maxi Pad more appealing. I was complaining that the scented pads smell like clean baby diapers. A woman doesn’t want to smell like a baby, but perhaps Lily of the Valley rather. My friend said that ‘Funky Beach Explosion‘ would be a great scent, which I disagreed with as I laughed. But then I realized, wait, she may be on to something. Perhaps that product could also feature “Exfoliating Sand Granules‘ . I’M KIDDING.

February 14, 2010: Is it a requirement then? …That is, to look like a f-ing freak if you are the face behind a food product? My apologies, really, but Perdue looks like Perot (and Perot looks like Perdue). Either way, they both look like chicken. Then you’ve got Colonel Sanders, who’s look was oddly stolen from Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top. Neither of them look like chicken, but technically, one of them should.

February 14, 2010: It was about 1987, Chicago. About three times a week I would walk along Michigan AvenueColumbia College, where I was taking Broadcast Communications and Journalism courses. Often I would see this Andy Warhol look-alike, white hair and all, approaching passerby in front of the Art Institute. One day he came up to me and handed me a photocopy of a wooden clothes pin. I, for some reason, saved it for a few years. I say it that way because, after all, it was just a photo copy (I suppose that can be art too). I wonder what his name was and what he went on to accomplish. I saw him there all the time; he was obviously on a mission.

February 13, 2010: This is really cool!




February 13, 2010: When I’m having a bad day or get bad news, my thoughts directly go to dancing hot dogs (like the refreshment stand red hots you used to see on screen before a movie, not the ones that dance on your plate). It happens instinctively – since I was very young. I find it curious that this calms me, despite the fact that I don’t necessarily love hot dogs or think they’re that cute. Now, Chicken McNugget people? Those were c-u-t-e! I particularly liked the sheriff. I’ll have to work on rerouting my thoughts.

For fun, here’s a McNugget toy commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Zd_P9XCSe8&feature=player_embedded .

February 13, 2010: Odd Saying Overheard: Terms I have recently heard, that were either foreign to me or that I haven’t heard in ages:

  • Busy as a one-eyed man at a burlesque show.

ie “Really busy? Preoccupied?”

  • What aisle are the Modess Pads in?

ie “Maxi Pads”

  • It’s the frost on the pumpkin out there!

ie “It’s cold!”

  • You can’t fly with one wing.

ie “You can’t have just one drink.”

  • It’s ten bells.

ie “It’s 10:00.”

February 12, 2010: It all went awry with the Moon Pie. It was about 2am. I had driven 6 hours to spend one night in a supposedly haunted hotel in Alton, IL. It was hotter than lava, and God knows I hate the heat. I hadn’t eaten in about 12 hours and was hungry and so very tired. I quickly went to the bar area, which was closing, and noticed a lone vending machine in a dark corner. I was so excited to find I had enough change on me to use it. The choices were slim as only about 1/3 of the machine was stocked. I went for the last chocolate Moon Pie. I reached into the machine and brought the nourishment in front of me. Upon opening the plastic wrap at the seam, the Moon Pie suddenly detonated like a bomb, exploding into hundreds of tiny pieces of what resembled ash. There was nothing left, not one little corner… nothing. Just another WTF moment in my life. But I mean, seriously. WTF, right?!

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